Finding Strength Through Cancer

Finding Strength through Cancer

My mother was diagnosed with Breast Cancer at 52 years of age, and while the “C” may have ended her life prematurely – this experience taught many lessons about strength, courage, fear, the value of laughter and acceptance that there will be times in your life when you need to stand up and stand strong.

I will NEVER forget the day my Mom and Dad returned home from the oncologist office after hearing those ever so difficult words “you have cancer”. Both said hello with a worried tone about them and retreated to different areas of the house. My Mom must have taken the longest bath of her life – I later learned that she was contemplating thoughts such as: maybe I can wash this off of me; why me; I do not want to battle this; I’m afraid I will lose my hair…all very heavy thoughts to process at one time. Initially, my Mom’s words and appearance seemed as that of defeat – her prognoses was not favorable, and it appeared she was ready to punch the clock and let the C take its course. After birthing and raising five children (I’m the youngest) – this lay down and it will be what it will be approach seemed so unfitting for such a strong lady. My own thoughts: no way can she not fight; I’m not ready to lose my Mother; it is giving up not to treat the C as aggressively as possible…what I grew to realize, however, is that my initial thoughts were that of selfish desire and not accounting for what it must have been like being told my life was in serious threat of being taken from me by something I did not invite in.

After a couple of days, my Mother had what she called an “out of body experience” – she mustered up the courage to say “ok, I’m ready to fight”! What she could not have possibly known was that she really was gearing up to display a level of strength and courage to family, friends, medical staff, and perfect strangers that really is only ever portrayed in Disney movies. With total and complete dedication, my Mother and Father banded as a team and attacked the C head on. Research and education became a priority – reaching out to the medical community, the internet, colleagues and friends proved great value…forming a lasting bond of trust and faith with her Oncologist proved to carry the greatest value of all. After all, you are putting your life in their hands and setting out to follow their game plan for success.



While chemo took her hair, and radiation ached her body – I never once heard her complain. To make the grand kids feel more comfortable, she came up with the idea of letting them finger paint her bald head…memories and pictures I cherish! I would ask her about the pain and she would simply say “it doesn’t do me any good to think of it”. Occasionally there would be some memory stutter, but she would laugh it off by saying “it’s just chemo brain what do you expect”. My Mother carried on her fight for six years while experiencing all the highs and lows of hearing words such as remission, new experimental cures, and the longer you fight the closer we’ll be to finding a cure.

I recently signed up for what will now be my eleventh Susan G Komen Race for the Cure – I’ve actually had people say “why do you still do that” and I always have the same simple reply: This is an event for those fighting, those who’ve won, and those who are going to find out they get to fight. Witnessing the sheer volume of numbers who turn out in support is mind and heart numbing. This event would always lift my Mothers spirits so much that I will continue to participate as long as it exists. I’ve shown up for these events in the rain, with a broken leg, soon to be fresh off of knee surgery and you know what – it is all so miniscule compared to what those there with the badge of “Survivor” have gone through. If we could only bottle up the strength they possess and share it with those lacking – society would be rich with Super Hero’s!

So while the C has taken from me, it has most certainly given as well. Every day I see someone with a scarf, a pink ribbon pin, a bumper sticker, or an online ad and while my thoughts might initially be towards my Mom with a heavy heart – I always bounce back with a smile and reflection at how strong her will was and how strong those fighting today are. My hat is off to you, each of you, who have been affected one way or another by the C…live for today, live for tomorrow and stay strong!
Jonathan